Did you know that October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month?
I'm guessing you didn't.
Because I didn't know it existed before I lost a baby.
In fact, I may be so bold as to say it gets entirely overlooked due to Breast Cancer Awareness month. Don't get me wrong, that is an equally important issue to be discussed, but I'm just saying, it's overlooked.
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about how much miscarriage, and any loss really, is overlooked in our society. I think it's for a number of reasons, really. I find that it is uncomfortable for people to talk about, I think women want to forget that it happened to them, and I think, as a general rule, people are uncomfortable talking about death, in any capacity.
Maybe I've been thinking about it because it's awareness month, or maybe it's because recently I sat in Applebees with a friend who said goodbye to her two precious twin boys at 21 weeks in June and we had lunch together on her due date, and I listened to her talk with tears in her eyes about how much she misses them; how much she's changed. Or maybe it's because we went to church on Sunday and our speaker shared with us how she lost a child at 3 months old due to a muscle disorder.
I'm really just processing all of this right now, but I can't help but feel like maybe, just maybe, I'm supposed to do something about it. I don't even know what that is, nor do I have any idea how that would look fleshed out. I'm thinking about it all, trying to figure out where my place is in this, but I can't get the gut feeling out of my mind that maybe there is a place for me here, a way that I can help other women come through this journey and draw closer to Jesus through it all.
I just can't understand how something so common can be so overlooked. 1 in 4 women will experience a miscarriage.
1 in 4.
2 comments:
Hey Jen, so glad you posted about this. I couldn't agree more. I have felt like I should do something before as well, just don't know what, or like you said what that would even look like, but i agree, people need to start talking about it. I think it could help in a lot of areas. I also have realized that it is hard to talk about death in any aspect, but especially an unexpected loss. the loss of our parents at an older age or the loss of a pet is an "expected loss" but how to console someone who has lost a baby? so people shut down and ignore you because they don't know how to deal with it, which it makes it really hard to be the person who lost the baby. anyways, i am rambling but we can talk more about it anytime :) take care! :)
Jen, I've been hearing a lot about that day this month, probably because so many of the women I know have lost a baby. I haven't been through it and God willing, I never will. (This third pregnancy will be our last.) I think part of the reason it's hard for people to talk about a miscarriage is that no one met the baby or has happy memories of it, if that makes sense. My heart breaks for someone when they tell me they've lost a baby but I never know what to say. Thanks for being open and honest about it. Sharing your experience has helped me relate a little easier to the women in my life who have experienced a loss.
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