Well our due date came and went, not really to my surprise. I was a week late with Levi, so it wasn't really shocking to me. I do feel like I"m having a lot more contractions, sometimes they're strong enough and consistent enough that I think
MAYBE???
and then just as soon as I think that, they go away.
She has from now until Friday morning to make her appearance on her own, or I will be in for a c-section. If you think of it, would you pray that everything goes just the way the Lord has ordained it? I've so badly wanted a VBAC this time around, but with each day that passes, I feel like my odds are slipping away. Sometimes I'm okay with it (like yesterday morning as I bolted out of bed at 4 am to puke and thought I'm SO done), and other days, I'm a little disappointed in the way things feel like they are turning out... though she could still surprise us. :)
Today the world was blanketed with a beautiful white snow. Everything was coated with beauty and grace, and the world felt like it stood still for a few hours this morning. Freshly fallen snow always reminds me of the Lord's grace in our lives, covering up the ugly, the downtrodden, and presenting us anew to our savior.. What a great picture of the Lord directing us again to His love and glory.
30 November, 2011
24 November, 2011
change of season....
Up until last week we were heading to Mike's parents for Thanksgiving. Then I asked my OB about traveling, and he wasn't too thrilled with the idea of me traveling that far. Mike and I spent some time talking about it, and in the end decided we'd stay here. So, plans changed, and we ended up having everyone over to our house. All I had to do was set the table and have a clean house. My mom did all the cooking and brought it. Now that's a deal friends! :) We enjoyed a lovely afternoon of eating too much, going on a nice walk, and playing at the park. We're settling in for the night now, knowing that for many people, they are starting the rampant race to the stores...
and yet,
Tonight, I find myself wanting a quiet peace, as we settle in for what will soon be the start of Advent, as we wait and prepare for the coming birth of our Savior. Maybe my keen awareness of waiting is that we are waiting... waiting expectantly and maybe not so patiently for our daughter to arrive. She will be here before we know it, and I'm well aware of that with every kick to my ribs, and jab to my bladder.
How Mary must have felt in those final days before Jesus was born, knowing that she was carrying the King, that she had been chosen to be His mother..How she must have felt..
excited? terrified? unsure? awestruck?
May the beginning of your holiday season be a time of peace and of love, as we remind ourselves that we are still waiting, this time for the second return of our Savior, to see his Kingdom completed.
and yet,
Tonight, I find myself wanting a quiet peace, as we settle in for what will soon be the start of Advent, as we wait and prepare for the coming birth of our Savior. Maybe my keen awareness of waiting is that we are waiting... waiting expectantly and maybe not so patiently for our daughter to arrive. She will be here before we know it, and I'm well aware of that with every kick to my ribs, and jab to my bladder.
How Mary must have felt in those final days before Jesus was born, knowing that she was carrying the King, that she had been chosen to be His mother..How she must have felt..
excited? terrified? unsure? awestruck?
May the beginning of your holiday season be a time of peace and of love, as we remind ourselves that we are still waiting, this time for the second return of our Savior, to see his Kingdom completed.
23 November, 2011
fridge folly
Because it's more fun the day before thanksgiving.
Tuesday night, I noticed our fridge seemed warmer than normal. It was still kicking on, but it just didn't seem cold enough to me. We ran to the store and bought a fridge thermometer to check the temp. This morning, our fridge was reading 48.
Now after 24 hours of good ol' google, I've learned that your fridge needs to read between 30-40 degrees, amongst many other food safety issues. So, this morning we called our landlord to get the problem fixed.
9:30 original meet n greet. He looks at fridge, tinkers with a couple of things, puts his thermometer in to read, just in case mine is bad, and says call in 2 hours if nothing changes. nothing changed.
second call.
1:15.. second visit. He tinkers with a few more things, including fixing the ice maker which I could really care less about and says to call in 2 hours if nothing changes. nothing changed.
third call. manager says it will be replaced tonight.
I'm out for a walk with a friend and her two kiddos... we head home.
chaos erupts.
Levi and his friend are playing, and break a picture frame, glass everywhere, and Levi crying because he's got a giant gash in his hand. I'm in the bathroom tending to Levi, and my friend is sweeping up glass in the offending area.
after chaos calms down, Ingrid said she heard someone say "hello?" while we were dealing with everything. I can only assume it was fridge man coming back, but said nothing more and left.
so now here we sit.... 6pm thanksgiving eve, my fridge is still is reading above 40, and we now can't get ahold of the manager via the "emergency" cell number that we have.
Did I mention we're having everyone over here for thanksgiving tomorrow??
some days just seem harder than others.
Tuesday night, I noticed our fridge seemed warmer than normal. It was still kicking on, but it just didn't seem cold enough to me. We ran to the store and bought a fridge thermometer to check the temp. This morning, our fridge was reading 48.
Now after 24 hours of good ol' google, I've learned that your fridge needs to read between 30-40 degrees, amongst many other food safety issues. So, this morning we called our landlord to get the problem fixed.
9:30 original meet n greet. He looks at fridge, tinkers with a couple of things, puts his thermometer in to read, just in case mine is bad, and says call in 2 hours if nothing changes. nothing changed.
second call.
1:15.. second visit. He tinkers with a few more things, including fixing the ice maker which I could really care less about and says to call in 2 hours if nothing changes. nothing changed.
third call. manager says it will be replaced tonight.
I'm out for a walk with a friend and her two kiddos... we head home.
chaos erupts.
Levi and his friend are playing, and break a picture frame, glass everywhere, and Levi crying because he's got a giant gash in his hand. I'm in the bathroom tending to Levi, and my friend is sweeping up glass in the offending area.
after chaos calms down, Ingrid said she heard someone say "hello?" while we were dealing with everything. I can only assume it was fridge man coming back, but said nothing more and left.
so now here we sit.... 6pm thanksgiving eve, my fridge is still is reading above 40, and we now can't get ahold of the manager via the "emergency" cell number that we have.
Did I mention we're having everyone over here for thanksgiving tomorrow??
some days just seem harder than others.
39 weeks and counting
Well, today at my appointment everything looked fine. I am feeling a bit defeated knowing that if nothing happens on it's own between now and next friday, I've got nothing but a c-section in front of me. Dr. M is not even planning on seeing me next week, he just plans to see me for my C. He asked if I had any questions about the C, I told him that I didn't want it, and he said, well besides that, I already know that much...
oh and he told me I had cankles... nice, dude, nice. :) He wasn't being mean, but it was funny. I said, yea it's funny when it's not your legs now isn't... and he said.. true, i'd be worried if they were mine :)
I guess the only bright side in all of this is that if nothing else in 9 days, we will be holding our sweet and precious baby girl... and that friends is something to be excited about, no matter how she makes her appearance. So baby girl? If you're listening... know how very much we love you and how much we can't wait to hold you in 9 short days. We're counting the days til we meet you.
oh and he told me I had cankles... nice, dude, nice. :) He wasn't being mean, but it was funny. I said, yea it's funny when it's not your legs now isn't... and he said.. true, i'd be worried if they were mine :)
I guess the only bright side in all of this is that if nothing else in 9 days, we will be holding our sweet and precious baby girl... and that friends is something to be excited about, no matter how she makes her appearance. So baby girl? If you're listening... know how very much we love you and how much we can't wait to hold you in 9 short days. We're counting the days til we meet you.
17 November, 2011
38 weeks
I had my OB appt this morning, and really if I'm being honest, I was dreading it. I was up in the night stressing about it. I realize this is ridiciulous, but it's all I've been thinking about.
However today I learned that it pays to have a friend in L&D.
When he walked in this morning he said.. you've been talking to J haven't you?? I said, uh.. maybe? and he laughed, and said J gave me her big speech about a patient of mine and I immediately knew it was you even though she wouldn't tell me who it was, and I smiled a little because he was listening
so we stand here. and i'm feeling okay with it.
he respects my desire for a vbac.
1) If I dialate to a 2-3 in the next couple weeks he will induce me and let me try naturally.
2) He is also willing to wait until after my EDD to schedule a C... right now it's scheduled for Dec. 2.
3) He said if i go into labor on my own, he'll let me labor so that's great news as well...
Right now I'm feeling peaceful about those decisions and feeling like while it's not 100% what I was hoping for, I feel like we've compromised well....
now to get this baby movin' on her own :)
However today I learned that it pays to have a friend in L&D.
When he walked in this morning he said.. you've been talking to J haven't you?? I said, uh.. maybe? and he laughed, and said J gave me her big speech about a patient of mine and I immediately knew it was you even though she wouldn't tell me who it was, and I smiled a little because he was listening
so we stand here. and i'm feeling okay with it.
he respects my desire for a vbac.
1) If I dialate to a 2-3 in the next couple weeks he will induce me and let me try naturally.
2) He is also willing to wait until after my EDD to schedule a C... right now it's scheduled for Dec. 2.
3) He said if i go into labor on my own, he'll let me labor so that's great news as well...
Right now I'm feeling peaceful about those decisions and feeling like while it's not 100% what I was hoping for, I feel like we've compromised well....
now to get this baby movin' on her own :)
09 November, 2011
37 weeks
37 weeks.
I knew it was coming. I absolutely 100% called the conversation I"d have with my OB today.. your baby is measuring big you should have a c-section.... I told myself repeatedly it was coming. And yet still, it catches me off guard.
He told me today he is strongly advising a repeat C. He doesn't want it to become an emergency situation etc etc, and I understand where he is coming from. I really do, but I also want him to understand where I'm coming from.
I called a friend who works in L&D to get her advice, and in her sage wisdom she told me these things..
1) The baby IS measuring big... even if you take off a 1.5 pounds, she's still "big" for her gestation.
2) In my fit of frustration, I considered jumping ship on my OB this morning, she said that really, where we live, jumping ship isn't an option. She said there is not another OB that would take me at 37 weeks. bottom line. At some point the drs have to "circle the wagons" and trust each other's judgement, and if they let people switch around like that at the end it would get too chaotic. And really.. I don't want to switch OB's this late in the game.
3) She suggested I agree to a C, but only on the terms that it be scheduled after my due date. Her thought being that A) that semi-appeases my OB, and B) gives me a good shot at going into labor on my own. If I reach said c-section date, then I"ll have a C.. no questions or complaints on my end. Meanwhile do everything I can to help naturally induce labor etc... anyone up for a good long walk??
4) Sit and pray on it for a while, talk with Mike, and feel peace about whatever decision we make.
So thats where we are. Truly, praying for wisdom, that the Lord will direct us in which way we should go.
Meanwhile, I've got some christmas shopping to finish up.... ;)
I knew it was coming. I absolutely 100% called the conversation I"d have with my OB today.. your baby is measuring big you should have a c-section.... I told myself repeatedly it was coming. And yet still, it catches me off guard.
He told me today he is strongly advising a repeat C. He doesn't want it to become an emergency situation etc etc, and I understand where he is coming from. I really do, but I also want him to understand where I'm coming from.
I called a friend who works in L&D to get her advice, and in her sage wisdom she told me these things..
1) The baby IS measuring big... even if you take off a 1.5 pounds, she's still "big" for her gestation.
2) In my fit of frustration, I considered jumping ship on my OB this morning, she said that really, where we live, jumping ship isn't an option. She said there is not another OB that would take me at 37 weeks. bottom line. At some point the drs have to "circle the wagons" and trust each other's judgement, and if they let people switch around like that at the end it would get too chaotic. And really.. I don't want to switch OB's this late in the game.
3) She suggested I agree to a C, but only on the terms that it be scheduled after my due date. Her thought being that A) that semi-appeases my OB, and B) gives me a good shot at going into labor on my own. If I reach said c-section date, then I"ll have a C.. no questions or complaints on my end. Meanwhile do everything I can to help naturally induce labor etc... anyone up for a good long walk??
4) Sit and pray on it for a while, talk with Mike, and feel peace about whatever decision we make.
So thats where we are. Truly, praying for wisdom, that the Lord will direct us in which way we should go.
Meanwhile, I've got some christmas shopping to finish up.... ;)
07 November, 2011
sweet moments
There are moments where I think Levi is just going to pummel this baby... His speeds are sleeping and wild.
and then there are moments where I realize all will be ok.
Today a friend of mine came over with her 2 yr old son and her just 2 weeks old little baby. As they were leaving, Levi was checking out the baby in the car seat, I was showing him his hands, nose etc...
Just as quickly as he checked him out, he took off.
What he went to do made this 37 week pregnant mama want to cry.
He went to her bedroom, and brought out a small tie fleece blanket that we made last week together. When we made it I talk to him about how we were making it for baby sister. He brought it out, and ever so gently, covered Jonathan up with the blanket.
It was then that I knew he was going to instantly fall in love with his baby sister, just as his Mama and Papa already are.
We're ready baby girl, please come join our family!
and then there are moments where I realize all will be ok.
Today a friend of mine came over with her 2 yr old son and her just 2 weeks old little baby. As they were leaving, Levi was checking out the baby in the car seat, I was showing him his hands, nose etc...
Just as quickly as he checked him out, he took off.
What he went to do made this 37 week pregnant mama want to cry.
He went to her bedroom, and brought out a small tie fleece blanket that we made last week together. When we made it I talk to him about how we were making it for baby sister. He brought it out, and ever so gently, covered Jonathan up with the blanket.
It was then that I knew he was going to instantly fall in love with his baby sister, just as his Mama and Papa already are.
We're ready baby girl, please come join our family!
03 November, 2011
leaves!
the other day we ventured out for some leaf fun... it was all fun and games...
then my sweet sweet boy.... decided to do this...
please notice the smirk on his face...
mama got doused with leaves more than once
then my sweet sweet boy.... decided to do this...
please notice the smirk on his face...
mama got doused with leaves more than once
halloween
levi was a monkey for halloween.
he understood candy this year, life will never be the same.
we asked him what he wanted to carve on his pumpkin, and we knew his answer would be his current obsession... TRAINS! so very thankful that Mike is good at envisioning things like this!
behold the train pumpkin
he understood candy this year, life will never be the same.
we asked him what he wanted to carve on his pumpkin, and we knew his answer would be his current obsession... TRAINS! so very thankful that Mike is good at envisioning things like this!
behold the train pumpkin
02 November, 2011
36 weeks
"We won't stop you if you go into labor"
Those words, friends, are magical at this point in pregnancy, except that I'm sure nothing even remotely exciting in that area will happen, especially since he checked me today and I quote "hard and closed". nice, huh?
We followed today's OB appt up with an ultrasound to check positioning and growth etc. These are my stats
Based on ovulation I would say I'm about 35 weeks.
According to my LMP (and my OB), I'm 36
According to my ultrasound today, I'm measuring at 37 weeks 3 days.
She (and it's definitely a girl) is head down, 150bpm, and currently an approximate size of 7lbs 7oz. This is not encouraging. My OB feels strongly the reason I did not dialate last time was due to size. (Levi was 9 even). I've been rallying for a VBAC for a long time, and have finally convinced him to let me try, though I"m sure the results of this ultrasound are going to take us back to square one on that conversation.
I have to say that's a little disappointing? frustrating? I know what he'll say, and I know it's coming, and I have a week to figure out what to say\do about it. Do I just say I'm doing the VBAC, and if I have 24 hours of labor and end up with another repeat C, so be it? Do I say, let's go ahead with a C-section? I wish there were an easy answer. I do know I"ll be making a call to a dear friend who works in L&D today to get her thoughts on it.
Just continuing to pray for wisdom on this road.
We want to do what's best for her and for me.
Overall, I'm feeling ok.
still sick and puking? check
tired? check
feeling done? check
severe hip paint? check
trying to savor these precious moments as a family of 3? check
Those words, friends, are magical at this point in pregnancy, except that I'm sure nothing even remotely exciting in that area will happen, especially since he checked me today and I quote "hard and closed". nice, huh?
We followed today's OB appt up with an ultrasound to check positioning and growth etc. These are my stats
Based on ovulation I would say I'm about 35 weeks.
According to my LMP (and my OB), I'm 36
According to my ultrasound today, I'm measuring at 37 weeks 3 days.
She (and it's definitely a girl) is head down, 150bpm, and currently an approximate size of 7lbs 7oz. This is not encouraging. My OB feels strongly the reason I did not dialate last time was due to size. (Levi was 9 even). I've been rallying for a VBAC for a long time, and have finally convinced him to let me try, though I"m sure the results of this ultrasound are going to take us back to square one on that conversation.
I have to say that's a little disappointing? frustrating? I know what he'll say, and I know it's coming, and I have a week to figure out what to say\do about it. Do I just say I'm doing the VBAC, and if I have 24 hours of labor and end up with another repeat C, so be it? Do I say, let's go ahead with a C-section? I wish there were an easy answer. I do know I"ll be making a call to a dear friend who works in L&D today to get her thoughts on it.
Just continuing to pray for wisdom on this road.
We want to do what's best for her and for me.
Overall, I'm feeling ok.
still sick and puking? check
tired? check
feeling done? check
severe hip paint? check
trying to savor these precious moments as a family of 3? check
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)