38 weeks and counting

Oh, little one, we love you so so much, and we can not wait to meet you.  I always feel like there is a point where you just reach being done, kind of akin to cooking a turkey, but longer. I'm there. I feel ready, my body just feels done. I keep asking Mike if I felt this way with the others, because I honestly don't remember, and I feel like it's worse this time, but that could just be my hormonal 38 week pregnant self talking, I don't know.

Our "stuff" is about as ready as we're going to get. The bassinet is up, a few pinks\blues are washed to take to the hospital, changing table\dresser is ready to go, car seat installed. I suppose the only thing left to pack is my bag. ;) There is a plan in place for the bigs, and I think that's everything.

2 weeks from tomorrow is our scheduled C.  Right now, 2 weeks seems like an ETERNITY.  I told Mike yesterday that  I'm longing for it be at 39 weeks like he originally suggested. I'm working next week, and it will be busy, so that will definitely help. I teach Monday, have a Tuesday AM commitment, lessons Tuesday PM, school all day on Wednesday, lessons, and church in the evening, recital for my students on Thursday, and Friday a well child for Levi, an ear check up for Ruby, and a haircut for Mama. Saturday I work at an elementary choral music festival.. and then.......... I'm DONE. :)  Cutting it close? Maybe, but I've been over with the others and I'm just not worried, though I would LOVE for this baby to surprise us. :) This week has been spring break, and we've had some downtime, and while that's been nice, I think I've found it makes me MORE anxious for this baby to arrive.

I know that sleep will be intermittent in 2 short weeks, but how I long for it to not be that way now. It seems it's one or the other. The kids are up and I could be sleeping, or the kids sleep great, and I can't sleep to save my life. I find myself daily praying for the Lord's strength and grace because it's all I have right now to get me through the long hard days, and even longer sleepless nights.

Come soon sweet baby we are ready to meet you!

big brother

My dear precious baby, no. BIG boy.

How is it that tomorrow you will be a big brother? You have held my heart my sweet kiddo, for nearly 3 years. We have spent nearly every day together, you and I. We know the good, the bad, and the ugly. We know how to laugh together, we know how to drive each other crazy. We K.N.O.W. each other. My heart is filled with indescribable love for you. I can't wait to see who you will become. You're smart, (boy do you love to talk) funny in a crowd, you love letters, trains, playing outside, and anything that involves rough-housing with Papa. We both love you baby, and tomorrow? Tomorrow you'll add a new title to your role.

BIG brother.

That word brings so many implications. The things you will be able to teach her, and show her, and perhaps hit her with, the possibilities are endless! I know that instinctively you'll protect her and love her fiercly as only big brothers can do. I can't wait for you, dear one, to fall into that role tomorrow. I don't doubt there will be moments of frustration from you when you want Mama as always, but I also know there will be moments of great joy as you fall in love with your sister, just as your Mama and Papa have.

We love you big monkey.

39 weeks and counting

Well, today at my appointment everything looked fine. I am feeling a bit defeated knowing that if nothing happens on it's own between now and next friday, I've got nothing but a c-section in front of me. Dr. M is not even planning on seeing me next week, he just plans to see me for my C. He asked if I had any questions about the C, I told him that I didn't want it, and he said, well besides that, I already know that much...

oh and he told me I had cankles... nice, dude, nice. :) He wasn't being mean, but it was funny. I said, yea it's funny when it's not your legs now isn't... and he said.. true, i'd be worried if they were mine :)


I guess the only bright side in all of this is that if nothing else in 9 days, we will be holding our sweet and precious baby girl... and that friends is something to be excited about, no matter how she makes her appearance. So baby girl? If you're listening... know how very much we love you and how much we can't wait to hold you in 9 short days. We're counting the days til we meet you.

37 weeks

37 weeks.

I knew it was coming. I absolutely 100% called the conversation I"d have with my OB today.. your baby is measuring big you should have a c-section.... I told myself repeatedly it was coming. And yet still, it catches me off guard.

He told me today he is strongly advising a repeat C. He doesn't want it to become an emergency situation etc etc, and I understand where he is coming from. I really do, but I also want him to understand where I'm coming from.

I called a friend who works in L&D to get her advice, and in her sage wisdom she told me these things..

1) The baby IS measuring big... even if you take off a 1.5 pounds, she's still "big" for her gestation.

2) In my fit of frustration, I considered jumping ship on my OB this morning, she said that really, where we live, jumping ship isn't an option. She said there is not another OB that would take me at 37 weeks. bottom line. At some point the drs have to "circle the wagons" and trust each other's judgement, and if they let people switch around like that at the end it would get too chaotic. And really.. I don't want to switch OB's this late in the game.

3) She suggested I agree to a C, but only on the terms that it be scheduled after my due date. Her thought being that A) that semi-appeases my OB, and B) gives me a good shot at going into labor on my own. If I reach said c-section date, then I"ll have a C.. no questions or complaints on my end. Meanwhile do everything I can to help naturally induce labor etc... anyone up for a good long walk??

4) Sit and pray on it for a while, talk with Mike, and feel peace about whatever decision we make.

So thats where we are. Truly, praying for wisdom, that the Lord will direct us in which way we should go.

Meanwhile, I've got some christmas shopping to finish up.... ;)

36 weeks

"We won't stop you if you go into labor"

Those words, friends, are magical at this point in pregnancy, except that I'm sure nothing even remotely exciting in that area will happen, especially since he checked me today and I quote "hard and closed". nice, huh?

We followed today's OB appt up with an ultrasound to check positioning and growth etc. These are my stats

Based on ovulation I would say I'm about 35 weeks.
According to my LMP (and my OB), I'm 36
According to my ultrasound today, I'm measuring at 37 weeks 3 days.

She (and it's definitely a girl) is head down, 150bpm, and currently an approximate size of 7lbs 7oz. This is not encouraging. My OB feels strongly the reason I did not dialate last time was due to size. (Levi was 9 even). I've been rallying for a VBAC for a long time, and have finally convinced him to let me try, though I"m sure the results of this ultrasound are going to take us back to square one on that conversation.

I have to say that's a little disappointing? frustrating? I know what he'll say, and I know it's coming, and I have a week to figure out what to say\do about it. Do I just say I'm doing the VBAC, and if I have 24 hours of labor and end up with another repeat C, so be it? Do I say, let's go ahead with a C-section? I wish there were an easy answer. I do know I"ll be making a call to a dear friend who works in L&D today to get her thoughts on it.


Just continuing to pray for wisdom on this road.
We want to do what's best for her and for me.


Overall, I'm feeling ok.

still sick and puking? check
tired? check
feeling done? check
severe hip paint? check
trying to savor these precious moments as a family of 3? check

32 weeks

8 weeks and counting.

I'm so thrilled to be in the last leg of this pregnancy. Oddly, while I've felt like time has flown by this pregnancy, and even though I'm back to work now, it seems like time has come to a creeping halt, and 8 weeks feels like an eternity at the moment. I'm ready to meet little miss.

So the decision is final at VBAC. I am really excited for this opportunity. (Someone remind me of that in labor, please) I'm thankful my OB is willing to let me try, even though, I can tell he's less than thrilled with my decision. I'm definitely saying that this baby will be born in December though now. ;) I just highly doubt I'll go early. Though, if you're listening baby girl, I'd be thrilled with that decision, as long as its not too early. (we ask so much, don't we?)

I'm feeling okay, just more and more uncomfortable. Getting harder to bend over, pick Levi up, pick up Levi's toys, you know, things like that.... but overall, I feel ok. Still sick here and there, but it's much much more manageable at this point.

We're in some serious organization mode here, trying to organize baby things, Levi's things, and find room for what is such a small object, yet has lots of big things that go with it :) If you've been to our home, you know we have a small home, that we really do love, but it's getting smaller by the day, as I try to figure out how to organize everything.

seriously?

This morning I threw up so hard, I managed to make my nose bleed.

Seriously... Is that really necessary?
still puking at 22 weeks isn't bad enough? really?


Somedays, I just want to be a normal pregnant person.

It's a............

boy oh boy... baby it's a....





GIRL!

rib pain

i have to say, i've felt relatively good through pregnancy. sure, i puke constantly, and still do at 36 weeks, but i've come to not think of that as anything. however, i've reached a new level of uncomfortable pain this weekend. i'm not sure exactly what has happened, but i suddenly have an excruciating amount of rib pain. i don't know if i've pulled something, whacked something out of place, or what, but i'm in an incredible about of pain. it hurts to sit, stand, breath deep, cough, laugh, blow my nose, and oh yes... puke...

everything i've read says this is pretty normal, and there isn't much they can do about it. the baby is growing, your uterus is expanding up into your rib cage, and there you have it.... pain. i've been taking tylenol and that doesn't even touch it. i'm posting at 3:30am, because it woke me up and i couldn't get back to sleep. most of what i read says you just have to take it easy and relax.. HAHAHA! I love that. I suppose Chrismas break is better than say a week ago, but I do have to go back to work in a week.

Have any of you ever dealt with this? Any tips? I have an appointment on tuesday, but i'm sure he'll say something really unhelpful like... oh yeah, that's really common, try tylenol... yeah. thanks. i'm guessing there isn't much i can do at this point except grin and bear it, but... what they hey, i'm willing to try just about anything, because honestly, this is worse than puking.

36 weeks

36 weeks and counting.

I had an appointment today. Per usual, boring, nothing exciting. I did however have to joy of having the Strep B test done. The only exciting part about that was that he checked me for any dialation which led to zilch, zero, nada..He said he could get his fingertip in.... kind of weird, and gross to think about if you ask me.

I asked how big he thought the baby was. He laughed and said.. ah.. the age old question... how about somewhere between 6-9lbs? Sound good to you? Um I guess? Seems like you could tell me something since I do pay you a zillion dollars!

He did say that since I'm officially 36 weeks if I go into labor they won't stop me, which is great..

Anyway, those are the stats.. less than a month to go. my BP was a little higher than normal, but the nurse said.. eh.. it's probably christmas and the fact that the roads are AWFUL outside! they weren't worried and said everything looks good.

here's a pic




Oh and I'd like to officially welcome
Zachary Paul to the world.. welcome little man!...

prayer requests

Just asking for prayer for a good friend.

A dear friend of mine from college called 2 weeks ago to let me know they had decided to pull her dad's chemo treatments. They were not working and were going to try a pill of some sort, but had said they expected him to live only 6 months. I got an email from her on tuesday, and her dad has passed away. 2 weeks. I would imagine that was a bit surprising for them, being they had said 6 months.
He was young, in his 50's.
I haven't talked with her directly, but I know she is trying to be strong for her mom who has lost her husband and her sister who is currently going through a nasty divorce.

The visitation is tonight and the funeral is Friday.
Mike and I are headed up there tonight to spend some time with her.

On another note.... if you could pray for us... we, I say we, but really it's me....
I'm really struggling with being sick. It has come back full-force in the last week or so. It's just hard to deal with day in and day out. Yesterday I was at school and had to leave to go puke in the bushes outside. I'm tired of dealing with it all the time. I'm also not sleeping well at night which doesn't help. I'm easily up for 2-3 hours sometimes at night....
It's just hard right now to see the "end" with being sick and tired constantly.

Thanks guys.

strollers, bedding, and sickness

sad to report that the pukies are back in full force... so frustrating.. i had about 3 weeks where i was only getting sick once a week... and the last two days now i've gotten sick, and i've been feeling queasy all over again.... so i'm thinking it's back.... so frustrating.... i just want to feel decent.... ya know??

we are going to mike's parents this weekend. we haven't been up there in quite a while, so that will be nice. it's always nice to go up and enjoy small town life. :) my mother in law called this morning to find out if we would be willing to play piano and bass at church... such is small town world! :)

we've been looking and looking at bedding. trying to find one we love. i think maybe we've finally found it... i love the simplicity of this one. the price isn't terrible, and i like that we could accent with the chocolate brown color, and then if we wanted add pink or blue....

We've also been looking at strollers.... who knew it could be so difficult...

we've been leaning towards a jogger lately, purely for camping and going for walks. the bigger wheels are just so much nicer and smoother to push.. we found one that we like pretty well. http://www.dreamerdesign.net/parkave.cfm

we've also been leaning towards the chicco cortina.. i LOVE the adjustable handle mostly... i'm short and most strollers are uncomfortable for me to push....the storage space is nice as well. http://www.chiccousa.com/product.php?productid=272&cat=5&page=1 i'm not in love with the small wheels though.... it just seems like it would be so bumpy....

but just in the past couple of days, we've been wondering about for-going a big stroller. we want to get a sling to use when the baby is young. since i'm due in january, i HIGHLY doubt there will be lots of walks happening... so we're wondering about just doing a sling and then perhaps a umbrella stroller, like the maclaren later.... who knows... so many decisions to process...

anyone have any brillant thoughts on this one?!?!

shoes and baby

a couple of you have asked how i'm feeling. i'm feeling MUCH better these days. i'm only getting sick once, maybe twice a week, which, compared to once or twice a day... i'll take that gladly! :)

we are still waiting on our amnio results. yesterday my dr. said my alpha-feta-protein came back negative, which he said was good. i'm not really sure what that is, but he said it was one step in the right direction. we're just kind of waiting now. we've really come to be at peace with it. i know there isn't anything we can do to change the results, and we just have to deal with it. i think it also helps that we have such great, close, friends who have a daughter with downs. we've talked with them a lot, and it just helps to know that side of life. lexi, their daughter, will always be different, but we've learned to communicate with her and understand her in a different way. she doesn't say hi, or talk yet (she is just turned 4 in july), but she gives you kisses by licking you :)... she's special and lovely in every way..

second and way more fun! i went shoe shopping yesterday because apparantley my preggo feet have grown! who knows.... anyway... this is the shoe i want...

it's pretty and fun green... but i'm thinking green is not very practical.. but how CUTE is it?? so that's the shoe i'm trying to talk myself into NOT buying.... but boy oh boy do I want to buy it! :) and it's only $20 at payless.. not too shabby!

insomnia

so.. i finally decided to try sleep again at 5... i saw 5:25 on the clock, and our alarm went off at 5:45.... ... so yeah, that's how i feel today....

i have gotten some packing done, and some tomatoes are boiling now for canning....

off to get some more stuff done...

insomnia

so it's 4:30... i've been up since 2:45.... i can't sleep...

i laid in bed for over an hour,

finally got up and got online, drank some tea, hoped it would help..

it hasn't...

anyone else struggle with insomnia?!?

i'm going crazy with it. the worst part is that i'm SO tired during the day.

oh and i'm pretty sure i'm starting to feel peanut move... i think i've felt them earlier while i was drinking some tea... :) hooray for that!

on a brighter note, we're going camping this weekend with my family which should be fun! :) 6 adults and 2 golden retrievers.. :)