Levi at 5

Oh my sweet, inquisitive Levi, I can't believe that you are 5. It seems like just yesterday I held you in my arms, and you my sweet boy, made me a Mama for the first time.

You are almost 5 1\2 now, because I'm a slacker, and haven't done your 5 yr post yet. sorry kiddo. I was pregnant, sick, and tired, when you turned 5, and now I'm just tired. ;)

So at 5 you...

• are beyond active. you LOVE to climb, to jump, to run, to be outside, to climb, did I mention climb? You are crazy, climbing anything, and everything from trees to the poles on the swings at the park. It's nothing for you to climb 15-20 ft into our apple trees. you even climb the door frames in our house.. I really should take a picture, it's quite something. You even try to teach kids at the park how to climb poles by using your hands and gripping your feet together.  
• you still love animals, and you especially love learning about predator vs prey. Some of your favorite shows to watch are Shark Week (mama screens those), Man vs. Wild (because you LOVE to learn how to survive in the wild, and sometimes Bear eats gross things which you think is awesome), and really, any sort of documentary is up your alley, whether its about lions, crocodiles, volcanoes, or alaska, you're in. 
• you love all things boy in animal world, lions, tigers, bears, sharks, recently you've told me you want to have a king snake for a pet, and then we can get a rattlesnake and watch the king snake eat it.. yea. we're not doing that.
• you love to fish, we introduced you to it last summer, and for whatever reason, it drew you in. you talked of it all winter long, and come this spring, we've been fishing, and oh how you love it. 

• you love to draw, and will easily spend 30-45 minutes drawing a picture. you like drawing especially, you're not really into coloring pages, or anything like that.. a blank piece of paper and markers is your thing... I have so many drawings by you, and I really have no idea what to do with them, our kitchen is constantly littered with drawings on the walls.
• you can read easy reader books. you can do it, but it's not your favorite activity, simply because it's not easy and fast for you yet. It still takes quite a bit of thought for you, but you are getting better every day. 
• you are an amazing big brother. you have risen to the challenge well, and I don't think I could have asked for a better son in that regard. You are a HUGE help to me, both with Ruby, and Maisie, as long as you aren't body slamming Ruby into the ground. 
• still are little... and you still ask me to pour your milk (though you do that more and more on your own), you still want to come sleep in our bed at night, you still love hugs and kisses, you still sleep with your ni-night, it's so tattered and worn. I don't know what we'll do when it falls apart, but you sure do love it... 

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• can be a picky eater, kind of drives me crazy. but, we keep trying... maybe someday you'll like more than carrots and broccoli as a vegetable.. you do love any and all kinds of fruit.
• you love structure and order, and some of your favorite toys are things with a definite beginning and a definite end, such as playing a game, or building a lego set.. imaginative play is not your strong suit, though you do like to dress up, and you are getting better at that type of play
• will be kindergarten in the fall! how and where that time has gone I have no idea.. and please dont' ask me what we're doing for school in the fall, because I still don't know. We go back and forth practically every day. 
• have your first crush.. it's true my sweet little boy.. you do. when I ask why you like her you say it's because "she wears the pretty dresses in sunday school"  don't worry, I will mock you mercilessly when you are older. :)
• you have a best friend, Isaac, and he deserves a post all on his own, and oh my sweet boy, your heart is about to broken into a million little pieces because they are moving away soon. We've talked and talked about him moving, but I know that you don't really understand what that means.  I think all of our hearts will break. For all of your fighting the two of you can do, without a shadow of a doubt, he is your best friend and I know you will miss him. 

I feel like there are so many things I want to say to you, to wrap up into a post about you being 5, but I just don't feel like words do it justice. I love you more than you'll ever know, and I pray everyday that the Lord will use your love of learning to do good work for Him. 

I love you buddy.

Mama

Miss Maisie at 2 months

Maisie girl

How you are 2 months, I have no idea. 2 months feels like you are not a newborn anymore, and that makes me a little sad. I still like to refer to you in "weeks" because it doesn't make you seem as old, but in reality, you have been here for 2 whole months already! 

At 2 months you

• weigh in at 11lbs 10oz, 22.5 in. 
• are a good little sleeper, at least at night. You give us a good stretch from about 7-3, and a couple of times have pushed it until 4:30. The first time that happened Papa and I jumped out of bed to check on you. 
• when you sleep, you do that shuffle and move thing so you're kind of sideways, and normally have an arm sticking out of the bassinet.
• are not a good sleeper during the day. You want to sleep on me, fall asleep nursing, or sleep in the swing. None of these are stellar habits, and yet, I struggle to break them, because I'm just too busy and tired to try to figure out how to do so without listen to you cry and cry, and I just don't want to do that. 
• will talk when someone talks to you... it melts my heart. every. single. time. see exhibit A (and ignore my cheesy mama baby voice) :)

• smile, though I've yet to catch it on camera or video, but I will! :)
• still have dark hair, but I feel like its' getting lighter, and this makes me sad... I hope it stays, but my hope is fading
• survived your first road trip (or rather we survived). We went to Grandma and Grandpas house and you did really well. We had to stop to feed you, but other than that, you were stellar, and really, less trouble than the 2 bigs in the back. 
• another first for you, was attending a funeral. Your great grandma passed away on May 27, and we celebrated her life, on what would have been her 83rd birthday, June 4. I wish you could have known her, baby girl, she would have LOVED you. How do I know that? because she loved her grand kids with her whole heart, and I know she would have loved you just as much. 
• you are generally pretty laid back, maybe that's because we threw you in the car, and we kept moving. I hear that's what happens as you have more kids ;) but trying to keep up with Levi and Ruby is pretty exhausting, see? 

• Hold up your head really well, though, tummy time is not your favorite activity

• We also celebrated fathers day. I managed to get a fairly decent picture of the 3 of you together and framed it for Papa for the day. Thankfully your big brother managed to not drop you. ;)   

•  oh, and your chubby cheeks just about kill me every single day. 

Oh sweet Maisie girl, we love you more than you'll ever know, and we pray that the Lord will raise you up to be a servant for Him. 

We love you.

1 month and counting...

How you are one month old already, I will never know, Mais.
Yup, Mais, that's pretty much what we call you. Maisie-girl, but mostly, just Mais....

At 1 month you..

Have about 2-3 alert periods of the day, but for the most part you still sleep a lot.
You have a hard time napping during the day. You like to nap on Mama, which doesn't work very well for getting things done (though, I do wear you a LOT).
At night you give us one good long stretch.. you go to bed at 7 and normally sleep til between 12-1. After that though you are up about every 2 hours.
You hold your head well on your own
You do very well with tummy time, and lift your head well with that as well
You focus on faces
You still have your dark thick hair... (Mama is praying is STAYS!)
Your brother and sister love you beyond belief.. sometimes a little too much :) We're just making you tough and resilient is all.
Mama has already worked a few times, and you've taken a bottle while I've had to work, for which I'm thankful.
At your 4 week appointment you weighed in at 9lbs 13 oz and 21 inches long.. getting big too fast!


We love you our sweet Maisie girl... We are so thankful the Lord blessed us with another beautiful daughter to raise. Time seems to stand still and race ahead all at the same time. It feels like you've been here forever, but at the same time, I feel like you are still brand new and I want to savor time as much as I can. I love you baby girl.

2 weeks....

4 weeks

It's a GIRL!

My sweet Maisie girl, I want to write down your birth story now before I forget.

It really starts at about 4 am, the day of your birth, April 18, 2014. We set our alarm, knowing we needed to leave the house around 5 to head to the hospital. I woke up early with insomnia, around 3, and ended up just getting up, I knew I'd never get back to sleep at that point. I did, by the way, get sick again at this point.. you know one last, hey I'm pregnant stab at Mama, so thanks for that..  At 4, the irony began...

Levi fell out of bed and woke up, he thought it was time to get up, since we were up and moving... We attempted to put him back to bed several times, and in the process, Ruby woke up. I finally managed to squeak in a shower around 4:40 and throw myself together enough to leave by 5, but boy was it an adventure. Both your big brother and sister were still awake when we left at 5.

We arrived at the hospital, got settled in, and the paperwork, and prep began for my surgery. They had a terrible time with my IV. I was poked twice, then they called IV therapy, which is normal, he got an IV started, but it was really uncomfortable, and they were concerned it was pushing liquid under my skin, so we had to do it again... FINALLY we were ready to go. We headed to the OR room for my very least favorite part of C-sections... the spinal. I  have no idea how long it really took, it seemed like it took forever before we were ready, and, baby girl, there were SO many people in the room it was crazy. I think at one point I managed to count 17... yes, 17! (thanks to student interns) that were in the room. My favorite person in the whole room besides your Papa? An amazing woman named Janine. She came in to be a part of your birth-day baby girl, and I was so grateful to have her there.

The C-section was uneventful as C's go, though I did manage to get sick during the surgery, which if I'm being honest was the definite low point of the whole thing. It just felt so awful and horrible, and I just wanted to meet you... but then... we heard your first little cry, and my dr say, at 8:29am, IT'S A GIRL!!! and we saw you for the first time.... you were beautiful, tiny, and perfect. You were 8lbs 7oz, the smallest of our 3 kiddos. and your hair!! oh my goodness, your full head of dark hair is beautiful... Mama will be incredibly sad if you lose it...

Papa cut the cord, and then they brought you to me. Janine helped us do skin to skin in the OR which was amazing, to finally hold you, to see your little hands, your face, your eyes.... and you even nursed, right there in the OR before you left with Papa to be weighed and measured. I will forever savor those moments, baby girl.

We savored you in recovery and discussed funny things with the nurses like chicken farming, yogurt making, bread making, and oh yea.. what we were going to name you! We hadn't settled on a name yet, and we were really hoping you would ooze a name to us... you didn't. ;)

We made it back to our room, and we were greeted by your Granna and Grumps, Auntie A, and a pastor from our church where we were able to pray a blessing over you in those moments...  Shortly after your Grandpa and Grandma arrived with Levi and Ruby. After kicking everyone out so your Papa and I could have some time to talk about your name... we decided on

Maisie (May-zee) Lynn...

 Maisie means Pearl, and it just seemed so perfect, and Lynn was my middle name.

You did manage to make me sick one final time, though I have a feeling that was more due to drugs from the surgery, but overall that day, I got sick 3 times... jockeying to be the last already, I think. ;) You were born on a Friday morning, but not just any friday, Good Friday! :) We came home Monday morning. At 3 days old you had already had your first holiday.. Easter! :) Though, as holidays go, it was fairly uneventful since we were in the hospital.

You have been such an amazing little girl already. You nurse really well, and are just generally happy. Levi and Ruby love holding you and giving you kisses.. Ruby calls you baby Maisie... We are slowly getting adjusted to a family of 5, and we are loving every minute....


We love you our sweet Maisie Girl.......

38 weeks and counting

Oh, little one, we love you so so much, and we can not wait to meet you.  I always feel like there is a point where you just reach being done, kind of akin to cooking a turkey, but longer. I'm there. I feel ready, my body just feels done. I keep asking Mike if I felt this way with the others, because I honestly don't remember, and I feel like it's worse this time, but that could just be my hormonal 38 week pregnant self talking, I don't know.

Our "stuff" is about as ready as we're going to get. The bassinet is up, a few pinks\blues are washed to take to the hospital, changing table\dresser is ready to go, car seat installed. I suppose the only thing left to pack is my bag. ;) There is a plan in place for the bigs, and I think that's everything.

2 weeks from tomorrow is our scheduled C.  Right now, 2 weeks seems like an ETERNITY.  I told Mike yesterday that  I'm longing for it be at 39 weeks like he originally suggested. I'm working next week, and it will be busy, so that will definitely help. I teach Monday, have a Tuesday AM commitment, lessons Tuesday PM, school all day on Wednesday, lessons, and church in the evening, recital for my students on Thursday, and Friday a well child for Levi, an ear check up for Ruby, and a haircut for Mama. Saturday I work at an elementary choral music festival.. and then.......... I'm DONE. :)  Cutting it close? Maybe, but I've been over with the others and I'm just not worried, though I would LOVE for this baby to surprise us. :) This week has been spring break, and we've had some downtime, and while that's been nice, I think I've found it makes me MORE anxious for this baby to arrive.

I know that sleep will be intermittent in 2 short weeks, but how I long for it to not be that way now. It seems it's one or the other. The kids are up and I could be sleeping, or the kids sleep great, and I can't sleep to save my life. I find myself daily praying for the Lord's strength and grace because it's all I have right now to get me through the long hard days, and even longer sleepless nights.

Come soon sweet baby we are ready to meet you!

School

School has been weighing heavily on our minds lately. We have been homeschooling Levi for this past year. It has had good and bad moments.

Good moments:
Time spent with Levi, watching him learn
Teaching him how to read, and watching him read his own stories
Exploring together
Doing things on our own time table

Bad moments:
The days seem long, hard, and at times, very isolating
A sick pregnant Mama, does not, a good teacher, make.
Figuring out how to juggle schedules, work, kids, and just general time to do "life" related activities.

Levi's favorite thing: playing math games, so he says. :)
least favorite: learning new things (read: things that are hard for him to understand)

So, with that... we've been weighing our options for next year.. Do we continue to homeschool him? Do we try private school? Do we go with public school? Do we do charter school?

Homeschool
Let me just be real for a moment, mkay? While it's been fun to teach him new things, I have not loved homeschooling. It's hard, and it's long (not the time, but just the continuing nature of it), for me, it's isolating, It's hard to find a good balance with homeschooling and me working, I feel like we end up using up every ounce of our day between the two things, and there is just no give in the schedule... this year? school got dropped if we needed to do something else, which felt slightly okay since it was just preschool, but next year Kindergarten? yea... not okay.
I'm also really concerned about balancing a 5.5 2.5 and a 6 month old next fall..... it kind of makes my head spin when I think about it.
But, I LOVE being home with my little learner, I love watching him learn about things he loves, we are currently working on learning to tell time because HE wants to do that.   I read good books about homeschooling, and think yes... that's what I want for my kids, but gosh darn't... it's a hard sell for this extrovert Mama who likes to do things. Which of course, typing that, reminds me of just how selfish our own human desires are.... and that seems so silly and contrite a reason to not homeschool.

Private School
I think both Mike and I feel most content with this option, minus the $6000 pricetag that comes with it. yea. That kind of $$ just isn't even possible. They offer scholarships, but they are minimal, and I highly doubt that even a scholarship would allow us the semi-ability to pay for school. It was a fun idea, but I just don't see how there is any earthly way it will ever happen.

Public School
We fortunately live in a very good school district, with excellent teachers\staff, and all that goes along with that. Most people just kind of stare at us when we say we're thinking about other options, because why on earth would you consider anything else with the district were in. I can't even really tell you why, because I don't know why ourselves, but its' just something we're considering, I suppose.  I HATE the idea of him being gone for 7 hours a day.. he's my baby, my first kid love, and I can't imagine not having him home all the time. The harder part yet, is how this would change what I do... I will not teach lessons 4 nights a week and have my kid gone every day until 7. I'd never see him, and I'm NOT okay with that... but what that means? I don't know. Do I bow out and not teach for a while, do I continue to teach but in a smaller capacity, do I teach but only say 2 nights a week? I just feel like there are lots of hard questions, and not a lot of great answers..

Charter School
This option feels kind of like an interesting middle to public\private.  I read good and bad things about Charter school, I hear good and bad things from parents.  I don't know what to say about it really other than it seems like maybe somewhat of a middle ground.... maybe.


Last year, we felt that the Lord had really called us to homeschool this year, and we felt confident in that decision... I haven't felt any sort of "pull" in any direction this spring, which I suppose makes it a little harder. I could talk on and on and on and..... well, you get the idea, about my thoughts on school, and truly, depending on the day, who I am talking with, and how the kids are behaving, can seriously impact what I am considering in that moment. ;)

our life in bullets

Is anyone out there?

You have no obligation to be, because I certainly haven't kept up my end of the bargain...
I don't even have a good excuse, really, other than just life, 2 kids, pregnancy, laundry, you know... things like that... which is really just life, which doesn't feel like a good excuse, but we always use it, so there ya go.

Bullet form to catch us up

• Levi turned 5 on January 27. He's amazing, and I'm convinced that he is going to grow up to be a a marine biologist, or some kind of animal behaviorist type of person. He can talk your ear off about animals for as long as you let him, particularly about lions, crocodiles, and sharks. He currently tells us he's a) saving his money for a shark boat b) when he's grown up he is going to learn how to dive, swim with sharks, and discover why they are disappearing. I can't make this stuff up, people. He has a passion for learning that I truly pray never dies. He is reading, basic 3 letter words, as well as simple blends. He enjoys it, but isn't to the point where he wants to sit down and do it by himself. He is doing basic math in school, can count to 100, and is starting to work on basic addition. He has recently taken a turn to wanting to learn how to tell time, so we've been working on that. He loves to be outside climbing trees, jumping in mud puddles, and doing all things boy. He is an adventurer. Yesterday he was outside, in the rain, in his snow pants, snow boots, raincoat, and climbing trees... :)  He also LOVES to draw. By love, I mean, he could spend hours doing it, and often creates huge posters of things for me to look at. I would love to find an art\drawing class of some kind for him this summer. Last summer we did one 2 hour class together and he STILL talks about it. He's also beyond sensitive, and very aware of how other people are feeling. More than once, he has started crying because Ruby is upset, and he is truly upset for her.  I don't think I could ever sum up how, on a daily basis, he never ceases to amaze me. 

• Ruby is 2, and she is ALL 2 ALL the time. She's a crazy fun ball of energy, who, contrary to her brother, zero interest in learning, but IS interested in playing with her brothers legos, and learning to dive bomb jump off the back of the couch.  I say this all the time, but Levi was never 2. Ruby however? ALL 2. Throws fits with the best of them, runs away from me saying, no, Mama, no! I mean, really, sometimes I just shake my head and think, really kiddo? not okay. We'll get there, slowly but surely....it's just a far cry from Levi who at 2 knew all of his letters, and would sit quietly beside me playing with playdoh... Ruby runs through the house and smears playdoh on every imaginable surface.  She has a soft spot for her babies, and I really think she is going to be a little mama to baby 3, but generally she just LOVES life. Sleeping, she does not love, however. The kids go to bed at 7, Ruby generally takes probably over an hour to actually FALL asleep, and is up unconscionably early every day, normally between 5:15-5:45.  I know, right? It makes you just want to drink a cup of coffee... please. do. :) She takes one nap during the day, about two hours, and there ya have it. She gets less sleep than Levi does... how that works, I will never understand.

• Baby Bean... oh I apologize now sweet one for the lack of documentation that is going to happen in your life. Here we are at 36 weeks, and I've hardly documented anything. Let me give you a brief run down. You are growing, you make me sick and queasy on a regular basis, and you caused a brief run in with labor and delivery at 33 weeks due to me being sick, dehydrated, and having contractions. Thank you for staying put for a while longer. We do appreciate it. :) not really much else to report. I'm ready to meet you, to KNOW if you are a boy or a girl... p.s. We still don't have a name picked out, and I apologize for that as well, it's just really hard to settle on one, when we don't' know what we're having. I promise we'll name you before we leave the hospital, truly, I do.  Right now, you are scheduled to arrive on April 18, via c-section, unless you should joyfully make an early appearance.. by the way, you are completely welcome to do that, but if you could not do so before April 12, that would be great, as Mama is working that day. I know, I'm already making demands, and you're not even here yet. We truly are excited to meet you, get to know you, and fall in love with you, even more than we already are. 

•  So there ya have it.. bullet form to catch you up, which is really just a kid update. :)  We're good. Doing a lot of thinking\praying in regards to school for Levi next year. It's such a big decision, and one that I frankly feel completely overwhelmed by most days. Life is good, and we are so thankful for the busyness and the blessings that come with the craziness of life and kids.