spring

spring has gone away.....

I thought it was coming, what happened??? its cold and yucky here today, and yesterday there were bunches of schools closed... and what's up with the "lack of salt" shortage in this state. We can't order enough salt for the winter, so now we drive around on sheets of ice? grrrr....

I'm feeling grumpy today.. even though spring seems far away, spring at one point meant having a baby... a beautiful baby. And now... I can't help but stop and wonder what spring will mean for us now? Spring means the growth of new life, new beginnings, new starts, flowers, fresh air, open windows, picnics, lakes, camping, and i wanted it so badly to also mean a baby....just feeling sad, thinking about how differently my life would have been right now. I would have been almost 30 weeks along now.....it just amazes me how much your life can change in an instant. I don't think I'll ever forget that moment when the dr. told us the news.....
Do you know that my due date was the day before Mother's Day(another spring thing)???
The DAY before... enough said....

I'm trying to continue to trust and look forward and know that God has a plan for us, but sometimes it seems so distant, so far away..... kind of like spring....but it will come, just as faithfully as the seasons change.... unfortunately, having a family isn't quite that predictable, but it will happen.. someday.....