Do you see them?
Little tiny buds.
Spring is becoming more and more of a reality around here,
and we are enjoying every minute of it.
Thank you Jesus for the promise of new seasons and rebirth.
Showing posts with label spring. Show all posts
Showing posts with label spring. Show all posts
07 April, 2010
springtime
Do you see them?
07 May, 2009
may
walking, first birthday parties, cake, balloons, mothers day, levi...
these are a few things that have been on my mind the last few days. may holds a varied amount of emotion for this family. may held a promise of something new and exciting. when we found out in september we were elated and quickly told friends and family of our news.
then came october, and our lives were rocked to the core.
"i'm sorry but the news isn't good" those words still echo in my mind.
so here we sit, another year has passed. our little guy would have been a year old now, or close to a year old. he would have been toddling around full of giggles and fun. we would have been planning his first birthday party filled with fun. I often sit and snuggle Levi and wonder how he is different than the baby I once carried. I wonder how our lives would be now if we had a 1 year old running around.
But yet.. I'm incredibly thankful for our son who brings us indescribable joy each and every day. He is the little light of our lives, He is the guy who can make me smile with his smiles at 3am. He's the guy who is currently fast asleep in his swing with his thumb in his mouth. But most importantly, he's the man that God has entrusted to us to raise to be a godly man, to be a man of faith, to be a provider and protector for the family he will one day have.
what an incredible mission that we have been entrusted with, and for that, I'm grateful.
these are a few things that have been on my mind the last few days. may holds a varied amount of emotion for this family. may held a promise of something new and exciting. when we found out in september we were elated and quickly told friends and family of our news.
then came october, and our lives were rocked to the core.
"i'm sorry but the news isn't good" those words still echo in my mind.
so here we sit, another year has passed. our little guy would have been a year old now, or close to a year old. he would have been toddling around full of giggles and fun. we would have been planning his first birthday party filled with fun. I often sit and snuggle Levi and wonder how he is different than the baby I once carried. I wonder how our lives would be now if we had a 1 year old running around.
But yet.. I'm incredibly thankful for our son who brings us indescribable joy each and every day. He is the little light of our lives, He is the guy who can make me smile with his smiles at 3am. He's the guy who is currently fast asleep in his swing with his thumb in his mouth. But most importantly, he's the man that God has entrusted to us to raise to be a godly man, to be a man of faith, to be a provider and protector for the family he will one day have.
what an incredible mission that we have been entrusted with, and for that, I'm grateful.
16 May, 2008
flowers and a full moon
The story of getting my flowers.I went to go get pick out our flowers this morning. I looked online it said after May 15th. I talked to my Grandpa who is a resident flower expert and been planting for over 50 years. I talked to my mom who learned from Grandpa all who said.. No problem!!
I went to the greenhouse to get my flowers. It's a small family run greenhouse that we've known for years. Their whole family came to our wedding etc. Well, I started asking about the flowers, and then he stopped and said ... "you're not planning on planting them right now are you?" I said.. um.. yes... then he said.. haven't you been watching the weather? there is going to be a full moon on Monday Night. I said.. um I watch the weather, but I didn't know I had to be aware of the moon!! So he proceeded to tell me that more than likely we will get 1 more frost, which if it happens, will be the night of the full moon..
So he told me I could buy my flowers, but must PROMISE to not plant them until after Monday... I do however LOVE the color and will enjoy them sitting on our porch!!
So here are some pictures of my flowers.. awaiting their planting...
15 May, 2008
flowers
It's a beautiful sunshiney day!
I'm going outside to dig up our flower beds for flowers to be planted soon...
hooray for warmth and sun! :)
11 April, 2008
spring
Today it is 70 outside..
The sun is shining.
The windows are open, the breeze is blowing.
I wish it was always like this.. but alas the storm clouds are now rolling in....
but i'll take it, even in small doses.
Spring is on it's way.. : )
And to add to the spring facelift.. I've changed our blog background...
it's nice bright and springy.. ahhhh : )
01 April, 2008
spring break
It's Spring Break!
We have no plans, and I intend on capitalizing on that plan! :)
I have an ever so exciting life scheduled with extra laundry:
sheets, rugs, window washing... I know it's exciting right?
That's it.. no more plans, and feeling genuinely content with that.
We spent our easter weekend at the very very bottom. I felt like we'd been thrown back to square one. It was really really hard for us, hard on me, especially. In a different way, hard for Mike. I wasn't home when his brother called and he was left to tell me and then pick up the pieces of my broken heart. It was, however, a VERY healing time for us. We spent a lot of time crying together, talking together, and just really deciding how we wanted to move forward. In some ways, I know that I truly grieved for the first time over that weekend.
After our miscarriage, I pushed incredibly hard to keep moving. I never stopped and allowed myself to be sad. I felt guilty for feeling sad, because although it was real to us, it wasn't real to anyone else. I think the following sums up my keep going attitude:
We found out on Halloween we'd lost the baby. That night we participated in Trunk or Treat, which is a huge carnival for halloween our church does. The next day I played for a fall choir concert, and the following day, which was a friday, I went into the hospital for my D&C. That's how our life was. Following the weekend, that Monday I went back to work. I made the obligatory calls I needed to make and our life went on. While, perhaps pushing through was not the best method, at the time, it was the only way I knew how to deal with it all.
For a long time, I just did what I needed to do. It's a very dark, lonely, place to be after a miscarriage. I spent hours crying. I cried the day I packed away all of the maternity clothes we bought. Mike and I cried together when we stored away all the baby stuff that friends and family had gotten for us. (which we did several weeks later, because we couldn't bring ourselves to do it until then) Unless you've been there, it is truly an unexplainable time in your life. It hurts like you would never imagine, and I will not try to explain that here.
As we look towards the future. Simply stated: We are scared.
We are so completely terrified of this happening again. We don't want to lose another baby. I can't tell you how much it hurts to lose a baby you love so much, yet have never met. For me personally, it feels\felt like my body betrayed me in the simplest, most beautiful act, a woman's body can do. I'm scared to do it again, because, on a very basic level, I have no assurance that it will not happen again. For me... pregnancy ends in heartbreak, not joy, and that's all I know.
So.. we pray, we talk, and we lean on each other, knowing that God DOES have a plan for us, whether we understand it or not. God knows and understands our pain and we have to trust in that; have faith in that.
Because in the end, that's all we do have...
Trust and Faith in a God who is powerful beyond all measure and knows our deepest desires.
We have no plans, and I intend on capitalizing on that plan! :)
I have an ever so exciting life scheduled with extra laundry:
sheets, rugs, window washing... I know it's exciting right?
That's it.. no more plans, and feeling genuinely content with that.
We spent our easter weekend at the very very bottom. I felt like we'd been thrown back to square one. It was really really hard for us, hard on me, especially. In a different way, hard for Mike. I wasn't home when his brother called and he was left to tell me and then pick up the pieces of my broken heart. It was, however, a VERY healing time for us. We spent a lot of time crying together, talking together, and just really deciding how we wanted to move forward. In some ways, I know that I truly grieved for the first time over that weekend.
After our miscarriage, I pushed incredibly hard to keep moving. I never stopped and allowed myself to be sad. I felt guilty for feeling sad, because although it was real to us, it wasn't real to anyone else. I think the following sums up my keep going attitude:
We found out on Halloween we'd lost the baby. That night we participated in Trunk or Treat, which is a huge carnival for halloween our church does. The next day I played for a fall choir concert, and the following day, which was a friday, I went into the hospital for my D&C. That's how our life was. Following the weekend, that Monday I went back to work. I made the obligatory calls I needed to make and our life went on. While, perhaps pushing through was not the best method, at the time, it was the only way I knew how to deal with it all.
For a long time, I just did what I needed to do. It's a very dark, lonely, place to be after a miscarriage. I spent hours crying. I cried the day I packed away all of the maternity clothes we bought. Mike and I cried together when we stored away all the baby stuff that friends and family had gotten for us. (which we did several weeks later, because we couldn't bring ourselves to do it until then) Unless you've been there, it is truly an unexplainable time in your life. It hurts like you would never imagine, and I will not try to explain that here.
As we look towards the future. Simply stated: We are scared.
We are so completely terrified of this happening again. We don't want to lose another baby. I can't tell you how much it hurts to lose a baby you love so much, yet have never met. For me personally, it feels\felt like my body betrayed me in the simplest, most beautiful act, a woman's body can do. I'm scared to do it again, because, on a very basic level, I have no assurance that it will not happen again. For me... pregnancy ends in heartbreak, not joy, and that's all I know.
So.. we pray, we talk, and we lean on each other, knowing that God DOES have a plan for us, whether we understand it or not. God knows and understands our pain and we have to trust in that; have faith in that.
Because in the end, that's all we do have...
Trust and Faith in a God who is powerful beyond all measure and knows our deepest desires.
23 March, 2008
Easter
Easter at our house.
Grilling...
All dressed up...
Flowers I bought for the table.
Mike ever so faithfully grilling... even with the snow.
21 March, 2008
01 March, 2008
winter or spring?
Today is March 1st, which I think should mean spring............
BUT...... this is what it looks like outside...
BUT...... this is what it looks like outside...
So, we're gonna be positive about it.....
SPRING SPRING BRING ON SPRING!! : )
27 February, 2008
spring
spring has gone away.....
I thought it was coming, what happened??? its cold and yucky here today, and yesterday there were bunches of schools closed... and what's up with the "lack of salt" shortage in this state. We can't order enough salt for the winter, so now we drive around on sheets of ice? grrrr....
I'm feeling grumpy today.. even though spring seems far away, spring at one point meant having a baby... a beautiful baby. And now... I can't help but stop and wonder what spring will mean for us now? Spring means the growth of new life, new beginnings, new starts, flowers, fresh air, open windows, picnics, lakes, camping, and i wanted it so badly to also mean a baby....just feeling sad, thinking about how differently my life would have been right now. I would have been almost 30 weeks along now.....it just amazes me how much your life can change in an instant. I don't think I'll ever forget that moment when the dr. told us the news.....
Do you know that my due date was the day before Mother's Day(another spring thing)???
The DAY before... enough said....
I'm trying to continue to trust and look forward and know that God has a plan for us, but sometimes it seems so distant, so far away..... kind of like spring....but it will come, just as faithfully as the seasons change.... unfortunately, having a family isn't quite that predictable, but it will happen.. someday.....
I thought it was coming, what happened??? its cold and yucky here today, and yesterday there were bunches of schools closed... and what's up with the "lack of salt" shortage in this state. We can't order enough salt for the winter, so now we drive around on sheets of ice? grrrr....
I'm feeling grumpy today.. even though spring seems far away, spring at one point meant having a baby... a beautiful baby. And now... I can't help but stop and wonder what spring will mean for us now? Spring means the growth of new life, new beginnings, new starts, flowers, fresh air, open windows, picnics, lakes, camping, and i wanted it so badly to also mean a baby....just feeling sad, thinking about how differently my life would have been right now. I would have been almost 30 weeks along now.....it just amazes me how much your life can change in an instant. I don't think I'll ever forget that moment when the dr. told us the news.....
Do you know that my due date was the day before Mother's Day(another spring thing)???
The DAY before... enough said....
I'm trying to continue to trust and look forward and know that God has a plan for us, but sometimes it seems so distant, so far away..... kind of like spring....but it will come, just as faithfully as the seasons change.... unfortunately, having a family isn't quite that predictable, but it will happen.. someday.....
24 February, 2008
can you feel it? spring is coming...
Can I just say that I LOVE that it is 7 am and I can open the shades because it's that light outside and, yesterday I bummed around town without a coat on, just a fleece, and the sun was shining! : ) HOORAY..I can feel it.. spring is in the air.....
Also, yesterday we got to chance to see some really great friends from college that we haven't seen in probably 2 1\2 years! They called us randomly as they were in town, and it just worked out that we could have lunch together! They were good friends, and in fact, the guy actually set Mike and I up in college.... thanks, Gallagher! : )
Also, yesterday we got to chance to see some really great friends from college that we haven't seen in probably 2 1\2 years! They called us randomly as they were in town, and it just worked out that we could have lunch together! They were good friends, and in fact, the guy actually set Mike and I up in college.... thanks, Gallagher! : )
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